Post 4 of Mexico

For some reason, Mexico missions got really hard earlier this week, at least for me.  I think I realized my time here is ending it gave me a sense of urgency and dissatisfaction about how I have been conducting myself.  I felt like I could have and should have done so much more than I actually did, especially in terms of sharing the Gospel etc.  In my mind I had planned on just trying to be an older brother and reaching out to the students, but in reality I found myself talking to some of them a couple times but never more than that.  And it was always hard for me to start talking about God.  One thing I’ve learned is once you start it really isn’t that hard.  You ask questions and go from there.  Although I learned that the fact that I don’t speak any Spanish at all does make things a bit harder.

But regardless, I have to admit I’m anxious to go home.  I think being around the same people for this long with a lot of contact during the day is starting to drain me.  I’ve found myself taking longer periods of time just to be alone to recharge and I think it’s just cause I really need alone time.  I don’t know if these last couple sentences made sense, but ya lol.  I’m sure that once I get home, I’m going to be like I wish I was back at Mexico, but my main goal now is to leave with no regrets.

I want to be as open as possible with the students here, at least with the few I feel comfortable enough with.  I briefly shared my testimony with a couple of students, and I think that at least for one of them, we were able to grow to a deeper understanding of each other which was nice, and I was also able to share with a team member who I think could really understand what this student went through better than I.

But on a brighter note, I think I’ve become more dependent on God, and just more aware of how much joy he brings.  Even though all the students here are forced to do QT’s, attend weekly praise nights and bible studies, and of course, attend Sunday services, not all are Christian, which honestly makes sense to me.  I feel like for some students having something exposed a whole bunch of times makes sense and God works, and for others the fact that they have forced exposure creates a sense of respect, but also a sense of is this what I truly believe.  It’s for these students I want to reach out more.

Lol this blog post is all over the place, and it’s long, but I guess because it’s been so long it’s hard for me to keep it short.  If we are fb friends look forward to some videos/pics uploaded when I return to the States.

But in short pray for me to open with students and share with them the greatest thing I can offer, but also pray for my interactions with the team here.  I read an article http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2012/06/recalibrating-your-relational-compass.html that was a remidner about how Jesus is the center of all relationships.  What matters is how people respond to Him and not to me, and that’s something that I have definitely lost sight of.  I find myself getting annoyed at some team members, but pray I finish strong with a prayerful heart and a loving heart.  That’s all, I guess I can give a better update about what I have been doing at a later time hahaha.  Peace out.

One random thing, I introduced a student here to piper and chan which was cool cause we watched it together. J

Day Something, Post 3 about Mexico

This is hard.  I'm not gonna lie.  I'm so happy it's Friday as after teaching I relaxed today and has some much needed alone time.

Now don't get me wrong, I have been learning so much through this trip, it's truly a blessing.  God is amazing as  I see Him in work here in people's hearts and allowing me just to get a glimpse.  God is amazing for letting me be part of His plan, but I feel that something is missing.

In james and hebrews and throughout the bible many of my readings have been about perserverance, and I think that is something God is trying to talk to me about and help to me really focus upon.  How can I help these people on a deeper level?  What does Christ bid me come do? That is the question that I struggle to answer right now, besides just teaching here, which is definitely the biggest time consumer I go through, but I feel like there is more.  Be it through guitar and singing or even just talking, I want to be used in greater ways so that is my prayer.  Would God call me, and I would answer in ways that I can’t even imagine.

Hebrews is a very convicting book for me… I highly recommend going through it slowly if you have not done so, or just even revisiting it.  I’ve ben constantly re-evalutaing myself, and I think it has been helpful to put things in perspective again, and to really see God in His glory present in His word as He reaches out to me.

But ya in effect, I feel like God is calling myself and the team here to so much more than we have been doing.  I just hope that we are able to discern His will and act upon it wholeheartedly.  As we continue to serve please pray for us.  As we seek to find ways to interract with the students on a more personal level, please pray for us.  As we live daily with our bodies getting pushed with fatigue, would God become so much more in our lives.  And would we just continue to burn with this fervor this desire even back home, as we can see how people there are in need as well of God's grace.  Thanks to all who have been praying and the few that have been reading this blog.  Continue to check out the team blog at ichthusmexico2012.wordpress.com for updates from the rest of team. :)

God bless!

First Day of Teaching

So today, things got real here in Mexico.  Last week we got here, and it was mainly orientation/chill time.  We got to meet some students and visit where we are going to help out in the community, etc.  Today, we taught... and it's pretty hard.  I now have mad respect for teachers.  But on a side note, they have like a praise night here every week, which is pretty cool.  And hearing praise songs led in Spanish and with a few English songs is pretty tight, like incredibly beautiful tight.  One side note is that... the girls are louder here and seem to be more invested in the praise if that makes sense, but I've found that to be similar with the several services that I've attended, but perhaps part of the reason is just because of song choice.  There is also some incredibly beautiful scenery here.  Like awesome scenery, only downside so far is the abundance of bugs that are everywhere.

Moving on, teaching is hard man.  The community teaching time is 3 hours and just consumes so much energy, and honestly my mindset is one of why am I even here when I could be reaching out to the kids.  But I need to change my mindset concerning that because God has called me to work in this area as well.  Too often I let myself get jaded concerning work, but I am called to have my life reflect that of Christ to where we reach out to all.  Even as I am currently reading a book, The Cost of Discipleship, I realize that I am selective about what I find joy.  I find so much joy in interracting with the kids even it may be really hard, but with the community I'm just upset that I have to devote so much time to preparing for it.  But ya.... I'm a sinner haha, but God is good and constantly teaching me which is something I definitely need and am glad about.

I also had to help out students that are considered low level or basically they have no English, and it's literally... no English.  That was one of the hardest times I've had communicating with people, but I actually really enjoyed.  This trip has made me really want to learn Spanish just because of this community and these students.  There is a joy found in these people (not to generalize) that I have not been able to find all that time even within the surroundings of my home.  I see a joy similar to the Little Lights staff, and I actually draw a lot of similarities b/t my experience here and there.  One major difference is the involvement with the community, but I guess LIttle Lights is an affluent area that focuses upon a group whereas Ichthus is located in a poor area reaching out to many.

Tomorrow is another long day, where I am woefully unprepared, and I just am going to wing part of my class because I have the lesson plan.  But I will put my hope in the Lord, and from there continue to work here serving God.  My verses of enouragement here are Isaiah 40:30-31.  The pastor here also gave us a verse from Jeremiah, but I have to ask someone about it again.  The staff here are sooo loving. lol.  But good night world, if you read this, please pray for our team here.  We need energy, love, and ultimately the constant reminder of Jesus Christ, which honestly is sometimes lost as we struggle or get tired.