Post 4 of Mexico

For some reason, Mexico missions got really hard earlier this week, at least for me.  I think I realized my time here is ending it gave me a sense of urgency and dissatisfaction about how I have been conducting myself.  I felt like I could have and should have done so much more than I actually did, especially in terms of sharing the Gospel etc.  In my mind I had planned on just trying to be an older brother and reaching out to the students, but in reality I found myself talking to some of them a couple times but never more than that.  And it was always hard for me to start talking about God.  One thing I’ve learned is once you start it really isn’t that hard.  You ask questions and go from there.  Although I learned that the fact that I don’t speak any Spanish at all does make things a bit harder.

But regardless, I have to admit I’m anxious to go home.  I think being around the same people for this long with a lot of contact during the day is starting to drain me.  I’ve found myself taking longer periods of time just to be alone to recharge and I think it’s just cause I really need alone time.  I don’t know if these last couple sentences made sense, but ya lol.  I’m sure that once I get home, I’m going to be like I wish I was back at Mexico, but my main goal now is to leave with no regrets.

I want to be as open as possible with the students here, at least with the few I feel comfortable enough with.  I briefly shared my testimony with a couple of students, and I think that at least for one of them, we were able to grow to a deeper understanding of each other which was nice, and I was also able to share with a team member who I think could really understand what this student went through better than I.

But on a brighter note, I think I’ve become more dependent on God, and just more aware of how much joy he brings.  Even though all the students here are forced to do QT’s, attend weekly praise nights and bible studies, and of course, attend Sunday services, not all are Christian, which honestly makes sense to me.  I feel like for some students having something exposed a whole bunch of times makes sense and God works, and for others the fact that they have forced exposure creates a sense of respect, but also a sense of is this what I truly believe.  It’s for these students I want to reach out more.

Lol this blog post is all over the place, and it’s long, but I guess because it’s been so long it’s hard for me to keep it short.  If we are fb friends look forward to some videos/pics uploaded when I return to the States.

But in short pray for me to open with students and share with them the greatest thing I can offer, but also pray for my interactions with the team here.  I read an article http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2012/06/recalibrating-your-relational-compass.html that was a remidner about how Jesus is the center of all relationships.  What matters is how people respond to Him and not to me, and that’s something that I have definitely lost sight of.  I find myself getting annoyed at some team members, but pray I finish strong with a prayerful heart and a loving heart.  That’s all, I guess I can give a better update about what I have been doing at a later time hahaha.  Peace out.

One random thing, I introduced a student here to piper and chan which was cool cause we watched it together. J