Return... mebbe

It's been a while since I posted... for better or worse I'm not sure yet. I don't have anything profound or deep to share.

I have things on my mind of course... but ya, maybe one day I'll share but probably not.

I have however... rediscovered my love for frisbee, and also remembered the danger of getting hotheaded.

I'm ashamed of my stupidity in getting frustrated with people for messing up. Normally I keep it in, but today it just slipped out on my roommate ZG. And I felt so bad, and I know he knows that I didn't mean anything behind it, but I totally screwed up. But... I'm going to do my best to talk to him more and also apologize. It was the first time he came out in a while and I was really glad he did. I'm just a dbag and need to mature a lot.

I dunno... even though I say winning doesn't matter, losing every game is frustrating. And today we lost to Barrel Roll, a team GCF beat last year, so I didn't want to lose again. But everyone played so well, which was really encouraging. And I had the best throw ever.... like literally the prettiest and most perfect hammer, I've ever thrown. Glory to God though... like for real, even now I feel my knees aching, and I'm just like dang... I am but human haha. and God is in charge.

Feels sad though... depending on where I go, and what I do... this might be the last frisbee forever, or at least for a long time. And I don't mean throwing around, but I mean actually playing ultimate... I'm getting old. This thursday I hear back from TFA so I'll probably have something posted at least by then haha... my future is about to get decided and it's weird. cause if I don't get it... I'm pretty sure it's the philippines for me, which means two years of epic separation from everyone by a huge body of water and country... it means I have to give up a lot of thoughts and things in my mind, it means... literally a new beginning. and there's so many good things, like i plan on getting invovled with missionaries if i can, and find a good church. meet new people, learn about a new culture, hopefully make new friends (fingers crossed), see CL when he visits for work hahaha. but ya........................................ future is in God's hands.