I'm so drained right now, I really don't understand completely.
But as promised here is the rest of Little Lights, sorry it's late. Lots of things on my mind/a lot of time wasted this past week.
Basically, there was a lot of emphasis on prayer this trip. We went on prayer walks in Anacostia, and DC around Little Lights. We attempted to just talk to random people and bring up God in an attempt to evangelize. We prayed in the ministry house that we slept in with a pastor and company (essentially prayer warriors for lack of a better term), and we prayed on our own (hopefully haha).
I posted up pics of Anacostia on FB but ya. God orchestrated ways, like giving us extra time when we thought we didn't have enough time to go on a prayer walk or even though a couple people tried to talk to one person and didn't work out, the other group got to talk to them. Twas sick.
For me personally... sorry this post just won't sound as enthusiastic, I just have a lot on my mind, but I'll try to be honest.
But ya, prayer walking was really good. It reminded me to do that here. Just as I'm walking to pray for those around me, the places around me, and to do so in confidence. But people in Anacostia are so friendly. Yes, statistically it's a bad place. Really bad, but the people there said hi all the time, and we replied in kind. I dunno, just nice as opposed to UVA or even the wealthier parts of DC. We are just so self-absorbed or we will feel too awkward, I dunno... but we just don't acknowledge each other, sorta sad.
I got relatively close to kids this time, compared to before. Tatiyana (not sure how to spell it) and Jarell. Tatiyana gave me the nickname, Mo haha. That's a new one, but it made me happy haha. I acted pretty sassy to her, not at first but later and I think it made her respect for some odd reason. But it was fun. And she kept on saying my math was wrong hahaha, that girl. but her teacher was wrong a couple times... which was really sad. But regardless I had a lot of fun with her, and even writing this reminded me to pray for her. :)
Jarell was a cool kid. Smart, tried to act cool too haha. We played games together a lot, he owned me in foosball like no other. But I beat him in ice hockey and chess.... although apparently he's the best in chess at LL and when I beat him, he got mad... I felt pretty bad. But right after that he owned me in foosball so I think that made him feel better.
One other guy named Terrence listed 60 digits of pi on pi day... I was like o.O sick. Haha. Random factoid.
But anyways, prayer. Like I said we prayed before with an African American pastor, her husband, the volunteer staff coordinator, and good old Miss Linda and her husband. I said Miss Linda... cause no one can tell and if you know her... sweet heart man haha. But ya... focused a lot on spiritual warfare and even put on the armor of God as it talks about in Ephesians. We learned here and in our prayer after it, to pray out loud, we learned to pray in confidence. We learned to really pray against the enemy and the lies he tells us and so many things, that to be honest I've neglected. I can't fully understand spiritual things so I dumb it down. But I was reminded that we need to fight him in prayer and petition through God.
Personally the only prayer walk I did was in Anacostia, and when people went on a prayer walks in DC around the more yuppy parts I went to starbucks and dunkin and around there to talk to people. I only got to have meaningful conversations with a couple, Marlin and Sketch. Marlin was a missionary and he shared briefly about that and how he's working in DC wondering what God will lead him and his family to do. And sketch was a Christian as well, who is like me... We debated a lot over small details, on the big picture we agreed and honestly I felt like he argued for the sake of it. Good points, but just... ya. But honestly that's how I am. I feel so bad to everyone that I've done that to now. Especially cause sketch sort of got this pompous attitude and I normally do that too... sigh. But I've been learning to really swallow my words and my pride lately. At least I think so.
Couple other people we talked to just thought we were weird I think, and one homeless guy just was like leave me alone basically... but it was good. I learned it's not hard to talk to people and it's not scary. Also fyi, I wasn't alone lol. it was me and another person, and boy was I thankful. Sometimes my brain just farts and I can't think of anything to say and bam other person to the rescue haha.
But one more person I got a chance to talk to was Cornelius. This one touched me, and I actually got a picture with him. He talked about somethings I connect with him on. He doesn't go to church cause he does things he knows are wrong and he doesn't want to play with God as he put it. Wrong idea of course, but... I felt him. He also has some problems with his wife and kids cause they are catholic and he is protestant, also understandable problem. But he was pretty honest with us. Straightforward too. And I think he respected God on a deeper level than many Christians do... granted twisted idea of God, but I think you get what I mean. But ya... cute older guy.
So many random stories... haha. One other one would have to be Steve's car got broken into and laptops were stolen, but he just passed it off. Even As Miss Linda prayed, she talked about how she hopes the thieves don't rest easy and they return the laptops and that the thieves would read the scripture found on the laptops and be led to Jesus. SICKKK.
And I guess in closing, first year... when we prayed over potomac gardens... something inside me broke and I couldn't stop crying. This year that same feeling happened again. Not that feelings are all that matters... but I think I finally cared for them more in the way that God does. Me the cynical me. And the funny thing is the night before I prayed and cried, I prayed that God would help me to pray with that kind of conviction... and He did.
There were some annoyances on this trip like any other. But I don't feel like going into them to be honest. They weren't that big, and I'm too tired to rant.
Best Coin Ever Spent
Just watched this... and it raised my spirits.
The J J brother's Dad spoke today, aka the man who's a member of a most blessed clan, who I one day would like to be like... of course Jesus. But this man of God... man haha.
Ya, a lot of things on my mind these days. In part cause I'm graduating so soon. Literally 1.5 months away. And what then... who knows. haha. It's finally hitting me. Also, got a crap ton of work that I just don't want to do. I think tonight, and maybe night time in general used to be something I liked, but now it's when my heart just feels heavy. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Small. Alone. And yet I still pray to God knowing He is there, and that's what I cling to. Cause it's all I can cling to.
Also A Christ Centered Relationship Part 1
There's three parts. Listen to them all. I've only listened to part 1 and it's really really really good.
One quote from Lisa "The more invward you focus, the more miserable you will become."
I guess I took a long enough break. This was good, helped me to relax some and fulfilled one of the things I said I would do. I might post more reflections later if I feel led to, but we'll see. I dunno if I'll be blogging for a while. I just feel... ya haha who knows. Oh random, frisbee might not work out cause of signing up issues which are my fault. Freaking... I'm so stupid. But oh well. Sports are... not that important to be honest, but winning that mini soccer tournament yesterday was cool hahaha. Glory to God though. I'm really realizing that everything is a gift from God. Peace out world till the next time I post.
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