Age

Sometimes I feel far older than I really am, like I prematurely aged or something haha.  And maybe I'm just pessimistic and fatalist or something.  I look at the first years, and I realize I can't laugh like that anymore or at least as often.  I find myself looking at a lot of things completely different from the way I used to.  I think I've grown to enjoy talking less and just sitting more, but I have also gotten more impatient, so I'm not sure how that balances out haha.

I guess what I'm saying is... I feel old.  So old that I wonder about a lot of things.  I guess it's time to take the future more seriously.  Where will I go, what do I do, etc.  I have vague impressions/hopes, but I think I need to finalize them more.  I see a lot of my friends who are doing crazy things with their lives, and part of me is happy for them, part of me is jealous, but overall I think I'm sort of content with my life.  I know that a lot of things that they have done are things that I would not have done.  But I do find myself looking back a lot and thinking I wish I could change this or that, which is unhealthy for the most part.

Honestly, I feel too old to even be in my class haha.  But I guess in my actions I'm still a little boy... hence my blog title.  Regardless, it's time to continue to grow up, but grow up in Christ.  I've accepted the fact that I won't be rich, and part of me is happy about it.  I think if I was rich... my walk with Christ would nose dive, but who knows maybe I will be rich and actually be a good steward of the wealth provided by God, probably not though haha.  Rambling.... so night world!