What Up

So... I haven't given myself time to wax fully in nostalgia. (if that makes sense)

I know... I'm going to hurt with regret, and my incredible stupidity. I know... I'm going to smile at the good times as well. I've had my share of both, and... in the end, glad I went through it. Not all, but most haha. God is good.

One of the most encouraging things, my mom has a bible verse in her signature for her professional email, sayyyy whattttt?????? Praise be to God. Forreal. Made me smile a lot.

Second... I'm an unofficial townie. Soon to be official hopefully. Will be working for the traditional company of C'ville and GCF alums, but hopefully not too long. Pluses and minuses to this, but overall glad I just have a job (still unofficial, as in haven't gotten the word from HR just an inside source ;) ).

But ya... in a dilemna of recognizing I need to cut down hobbies, but not sure how to do it. I found an elec amp for relatively cheap today, which is basically the amp I wanted but the step down... but I really want to get a DSLR, and the best way to get it is... by selling my elec. Literally one hobby becomes the other. Of course keeping acoustic cause it's my baby/joy, but pictures are beautiful. So I guess, not really a dilemna now, but it is sad. To say goodbye to my electric at some point... makes me sad. But I think getting a nice camera that I'm not borrowing and my own lens will be fun! I've already got it picked out for the most part.

Prob not going the nikon route... because my step-dad uses canon, and honestly, it'd be cool if we could swap lenses and stuff. Cute and simple way for bonding, which we don't really have all to often. (I know right, look at me thinking for once).

But ya... I think I'm still nervous cause I want that email from the company to confirm, but all is well I guess. I came home and will be with my fam for a weekish before returning to cville... for good (omg.... for good). And it's nice. Just babysitting for now, then FL with fam, which I guess will be nice.

Still no revelation though guys. Almost cried on the way home, but blasted music and prayed instead haha, but I'll cry eventually. Lots o crying man. But now what? Job? Study on my own? Frisbee? Guitar? Photography? Friends? Start talking to people again that haven't talked to for so long? Contact old family? Find new church?

Lots of things to think about. Very few that will get done. Also I was reminded of how hard it is to find a place. Been searching for a single in C'ville cause... I want to live alone, but it's annoying, and now I have to visit them all to see if I like them enough. But for now sublet June and go from there.

Now why does this post seem happier than it should, or at least my opinion of it should? Cause... I'm pushing off my sorrow for a time, when I can truly deal with it over the course of a day (or maybe just wallow?) haha who knows. All I know is... life goes on. People like to use the analogy of new chapters, even I have. But it really doesn't feel like it, it just flows man. Flows... regardless of how one feels.