Somebody

Somebody told me... they thought I was in touch with my emotions. Haha... I feel like I try to act rational. I try to act like I have my stuff together. I try to act like I have reasons for everything.

Honestly... it's not true at all. My emotions are not in my control and are beyond my understanding. As soon as I think I get it, they pull a fast one on me. If I understood my emotions, would I be able to stop pain? Would I be able to stop stupid stuff or stupid words? Would... I be happier? Sometimes, being an automaton really doesn't seem that bad. Sigh.

Life... I feel lost a lot these days. Like there's a whole continent ahead of me, but I don't know where to go. Instead I'm stuck on this corner by the shore. It has it's beauty. It's nice... but there's so much more.

Maybe young wishful thoughts? Maybe I don't appreciate enough where I'm at? Who knows man... but I hope I can follow Jesus in everything.

As I'm figuring out my future... I really wish He leads me. I know I've said this before. But people always say pray, but do you expect something big? Or maybe you feel comfort? Or maybe you assurance? Or maybe you just go for it? Either way... when you succeed God gets the glory. When you fail, God's got your back.

Got a post up in the works in my mind. Maybe tomorrow depending on how I'm feeling.

Break Every Chain- Will Reagan & United Pursuit Band
Half of me wants to just scream sometimes haha. Maybe I'd feel better, but in reality it's temporary. Jesus... provides that which I need and more. Man I love these songs that just repeat... And when that female vocal steps in perfect.

I will continue to be changed by God. I will continue to struggle and fight. I will have victories. I will have defeats. Sadly, knowing me, many defeats. My heart is going to feel so happy it will feel like bursting. My heart is going to feel like it was trampled upon haha. Oh life, you're the 2nd biggest mystery, first is God. 3rd is other people. Peace guys. Really... peace be upon you and me.

On a side note been clearing out my inbox haha. Feels good to get rid of that clutter.