Drifting

People drift in and out of people's lives. So general, and we all know it. But sometimes, it's sad to think about it. Cue emo post that has been deleted at least I wrote it back when I was watching snow fall. So peaceful.

Small perk of my job. Got a Sam's Club member ship for 18.75 ish due to the company helping pay. Split it with another person so now it's half. Aww ya. And it says business member, feeling professional.

Hey You, Don't Treat My Wife Like That
That's how you do it.

Don't wear one on your chest if you don't carry it on your back. (referring to Christ)
-Andy Mineo

We Are Far Too Easily Displeased
Ouch

Spiritual gifts and spiritual fruits are not the same.
-Keller
This one hit. It's part of another sermon I listened by him over the course of a couple days. Just a minor distinction that we overlook. If I someone gifted, it's like dang so holy. But he or she is just gifted. Their devotion to God, their manifestation of the Holy Spirit are completely different things. Oh Keller, you might be the new DA Carson for me haha.

Let's bring some coherence back to this post tho. Lots of things fly through my mind these days. Some last days some last minutes. But all in all, things aren't terrible these days. Money comes and goes, in terms of successfully saving. Costs arise. Then back to saving. This odd cycle. For example, last month I had to pay for my car issues. This month it's paying for the classes I'll be taking next semester. Then next month will probably be car issues again. I'm suspicious of a couple things but afraid to take it in and hear hello sir your repairs are an estimated $800 again. Well screw you! Haha jk. Safety is important, but just makes me sad when it flows like that, but better than being like Mom I need money cause I can't cover this. Regardless, money is weird. Being involved in ministry full-time relying on donations, crazy. You have to fund-raise so much just to break even not including saving for a family (if you have one) or paying for school (if you're in one), etc. But regardless if things go well, next year I will receiving around 1.5 grand back just by reimbursement for classes (if I get an A) and random security deposits that will be returned. The question is what do I do with it? I've been reading a lot on investing lately. Because I'm capable? Nah, I don't care enough nor am I motivated enough. But would I be willing to give it to an investor? Maybe. Do I have enough to make a huge difference? Nope, not at all. Just interesting new avenues of life to explore I guess.

But in the end it's all foolishness. In the end this all will fade. So in reality I'd rather die young than old. By young I think 60-70 would be nice, but if I die tomorrow that'd be cool too I guess (not really, cause there's so much coolness in the world left to explore, so much sadness left in the world to pray and empathize for, so much pain that I would like to document and swim in to ideally help others, and so many frowns that I would hope to turn upside down). Reality, I won't do any of that or at least not in the ways I want. I saw people take pictures of homeless in a studio to help reinforce their inherent value as people rather than our label of homeless. I saw people take pictures of cancer patients dressed up to make them smile and laugh apart from their terminal illness. That's what I wish I could do. Make someone smile. Point them in the right direction of Christ.

But alas, I sit at a desk job staring at numbers and text. At least, I'm slowly getting closer to my co-workers. I just need to chillax a lot and try to talk to them more, regardless of all the stupid petty fights and grumblings, I see in the office. Guys and gals, corporate has some really stupid stuff going on in it. Just people that need to shut up and grow up, or learn to let go. Haha. Not that I'm saying I'm better, but all means I need to shut up more. I need to grow up more. I need to "a lot of things" more. Yet, that's what makes life interesting.

That and landing jumps while snowboarding. Heck ya. My goal is to master at least a 180 this winter,to be able to go down comfortably with either foot forward, and just get better. Who knows maybe I'll get a trick snowboard one day (yes there are different ones that lend themselves to different things, does it make a big difference? actually, yes it does). But I probably won't. Better ways to use that money, like on a friend or someone in need or an organization that's doing something amazing.