Hiking

Today I went to Blue Hole and a Mr. I tagged along.

Sadly... I'm waiting on a new charger so I had to use my old camera, makes me realize the difference starkly, but pictures can be added some other time.

Water was flowing like crazy... so basically guaranteed to get feet wet unless you try super hard and I didn't feel like it.  So I just got wet, and man was it cold... lol.

The path was closed off so I had to make a slight detour, but hiking/walking felt the same.  Beautiful.

The trees basically had no leaves except for the evergreens so you could see a lot more, which was really nice, and then when I got to blue hole it was really pretty.

There was more water rushing and stuff, and it was incredibly peaceful.  Downside is they really did cut the swing down and there aren't any branches nearby sturdy enough to tie one if you wanted but it's still a good place to swim when it gets warm, and you can jump off the rocks.

I beheld God's creation and felt awe.  I walked through memories... and felt sadness mixed with joy.  Haha.

But overall, I tried to talk to God again.  I can't forgive myself... I really can't.  Pride comes and other emotions... but it's so hard for me to.  And that directly influences how I can't completely accept grace.  This is an ongoing struggle for me, and it hurts.  To be completely honest it's tearing me apart.

And my dad finally emailed me back, and I don't know how to respond anymore.  Do I try to build the relationship up, do I point out things I don't agree with what he said, do I need to become close to him again?  Does he even want that/is he even willing to put in the effort?  Am I?

For the first time, I enjoyed doing Japanese hw cause it took my mind off of things.  Pretty sad... but it helped to focus on stuff other than all the thoughts swirling and swirling in my mind... lol.  But I think I'm going to finally see Les Miserables.  Yay.

Also random side note, I tried sleeping on the floor to help fix my posture and the fact that my back has been cracking like crazy.  I'll see after a couple more days if I actually think it's worth it or not.

But ya I think that's it, if you do see this.  Please pray for me... I'm... just not doing well lol.  But on a brighter not I think I'm going to try to hike at least once a week.  Gotta explore the nature around C'ville before it's too late.

Another song Shane and Shane "God Did"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgkQIXVm8vQ