Today, I was reminded that I am no better than any other sinner. Of course I've heard this before, and said it before, but once again I was reminded by God's grace.
A month ago, I read some manga that actually had an interesting idea. Yes... a drawn comic had something thought provoking, and before you hate it too much, I don't really see manga as any different than any fantasy genre style of book, that being said more of then not, it is a waste of time.
But this time it was interesting. Basically, normal citizens were given the ability to vote on killing mass murderers. Initially, people were like no we don't want to be responsible, but then after being told what each criminal did in detail, they immediately wanted to vote to have them killed. Except for one person, who fought for their life.
In reality... I often get into this idea, yes I'm a sinner, but I'm not as bad as x, y, or z. I can't connect with people who have done x, y, z. This doesn't happen often conciously, but unconciously it does. It happens to all of us... imho. But that being said, I was troubled by this dilemma. Given the option, would I kill them? Of course not as a Christian, I shouldn't.
But the reality was I can understand why'd you want them to die. Take the shooting in connecticut, if my brother was there and died, you'd have to stop from me wanting to brutalize the killer on my own by putting me in jail or locking me up. (slight exaggeration, but i would definitely want to kill them).
However... becoming a Christian entails recognizing, we are no better. And finally it hit me today, I am no better. Now I'm still going to be scared of murderers... can't help it. I'm still not going to condone their actions just like I don't condone my sin, but I can't... push these people aside. I think I'm finally understanding why people do and feel called to do prison ministry.
I am no better than the worst. In fact I am the worst. I was one of the scoffers calling for Jesus' death, and yet... He died for me. The beauty of this is something I would like to struggle with everyday. Struggle and succumb to the grace of God.
On a side not, I never finished that what it takes to transform a city seminar so I did over lunch. Nice date between the speaker and me lolz, but there was one quote that he quoted that stood out to me when he was asking a fellow missionary about what drove him to serve in the slums.
"I just found out where Jesus lived, and I moved in with him."
Do I move in where Jesus lives, or do I wall myself off in my pleasantries. Dunno, well I do know, I wall off. But I think I'm finally making headway at a much faster pace than I have for a while. I want... to know Jesus more.
So far school is going okay, feels weird to be back, but... last semester gotta make it count. And I asked a friend to do Bible study with me as like evangelistic bible study and was rejected... but that's okay. I need to share the Gospel at least once before I graduate with said person though, please pray for strength.
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